Friday, August 27, 2010

Worst Parents EVER! ~Pirahana *SPOILER ALERT*~

I took the opportunity yesterday to go see a completely brain dead movie, because I had a long day of work and really needed to have some "non-thinking" time. So the only logical choice was to go see Piranha in 3D. lol I love a good mindless gore fest, but this movie actually shocked me! When the movie started I thought I heard a little voice behind me, but I was in my "Shhhhh the movie is starting, shut the hell up" mode so I didn't pay it any attention.

So the movie starts . . . and I swear within the first 10 minutes I saw tits, there was cussing up the wazoo, and a guy got chewed to the bone. So, ok . . this is going to be a REAL gore fest! This movie had it ALL! There were lots and lots of of tits . . like a LOT! Not to mention all of the cussing, boozing, drug usage, underage drinking, blood, guts, severed body parts, assholes, bimbos, and the like. Seriously . . I consider a movie REALLY rated R when you get to see a floating severed penis that gets eaten, and then spit out half eaten. HELLO!

You'll know when a movie affects me because I'll either cry (dramatic romance) or slap your leg while waving my hand around because something is grossing me out. The leg slap happened a lot throughout this movie, it was just THAT disgusting. So after a lot of "Oh my God!" exclamations, we get to the end of this crazy horrific ride, the lights come up, I stand ready to leave, look behind me and see . . . a flippin' 3 or 4 year old! All joking aside, a set of parents decided to bring their toddler to a VERY "R" rated movie, chock full of everything a kid should NOT see! I was simply appalled at the lack of parenting skills these people had. It just didn't make any sense why someone would bring their toddler to this movie of all things when they could have seen "Despicable Me" which would have been so much more appropriate.

All I could think about after that was how traumatized this poor little boy was going to be for who knows how long. Geez, man . . I would imagine as a little boy seeing a severed penis floating around you'd never go in the water again. Much like Jaws was for us older folks. So yeah, my point being . . . please leave the kids at home with the babysitter if you really want to see an "R" rated movie, because someone may not be a nice as I was in keeping my mouth shut!

-Gwen-

P.S. Steven Moffat's "Sherlock" is BRILLIANT!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Can blind love be made real?

After watching another episode of "Dating in the Dark" tonight I got to thinking about how we make connections with people. In this case we're looking at (for those that haven't seen the show) three men and three women living in a house for what looks to be a weekend span, in completely separate wings of a large mansion. They all meet for a "group date" to start in the same room which is completely pitch black. They can talk and touch each other but can't see a thing. So they go on to have individual dates with whomever each other picks based on the initial "group date". Then they go on a date with whomever has been calculated to be their most compatible match.

Even though their first impression of each other is in the dark, they already form misconceptions of each other. It's up to the individual dates to help them decide whether or not they'd like to have that person "revealed" in the light. Once they make a choice they get to finally SEE each other. I love watching the reactions as their love interest is shown. Luckily they are each revealed one at a time, so they don't see the other's reaction. Most are positive, even if that other person doesn't fit in to the other's "type", because they've already made that "connection" by getting to know each other on a personal level first and not basing it all on that first look at the outer book cover if you will.

What I find really unfortunate about this whole show is that even if one of the guys/girls makes a real connection with the other, but then his/her appearance isn't that perfect vision they had built up in their mind, they can basically stand them up. It's not as if by showing up for the other person it means you're whisked off to your wedding. All it does is say, "Something about you intrigued me, and I'm interested in finding out more." Isn't that what a second date is all about?

I think the same idea applies to internet romance. Everyday people fall in love with someone they have never met. A lot of other people can't even imagine how that's possible. But when you peel back the curtain of having to physically appeal to the opposite sex FIRST and allow yourself the opportunity to get to know who that person is on a deeper level, so much is possible. The old saying of "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is very true and very wise. Not to mention that even if you don't feel lust at first sight, love is something pure and everlasting . . . looks are NOT. That perfect ideal woman or man in your mind doesn't exist, because I'll bet you never imagine your dream guy or dream woman as a senior citizen grabbing the early bird special down at Denny's. It's what is inside their soul that you should be idealizing, not what they look like. If you're fortunate enough to find that in someone, and you truly and honestly love them for who they are, not what they look like, count yourself very lucky. We all wear masks, but allowing those few people in existence to see beneath it is a rare and precious gift.

-Gwen

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Male Girdles -Good Idea | Bad Idea?

The other night while watching late night TV I saw a commercial for something that had me laughing my butt off. The "Slim T's", Men's Body Shaping Tank. Really people? Do we really need our guys stuffing themselves into a male equivalent of the girdle, complete with a secret! Bring on Victor's Secret: (according to the product's website) "The secret is 12 uniquely designed firming panels that trim and tighten your problem areas." It looks like the guy is wearing a fake six pack! Trust me fellas if you're trying to look slimmer to impress a woman do it the hard way, because if I was putting my hands on a man's chest only to feel seams and pads . . LOL . . we're done. Soooo . . .

Good Idea: Working out at the gym to strengthen your muscles and tone your body in order to boost your self esteem and be more attractive to the ladies (or guys if that's your thing).

Bad Idea: Wearing a male girdle to make yourself appear in better shape only to watch your woman's "chick boner" deflate when you start disrobing.

Just say NO to man girdles, trust me!

-Gwen-

Sonic Booms, Man Girdles, & the "Ground Zero Mosque"

I know this sounds like it's going to be oddly random, but stick with me people. This will probably be a short post tonight as I'm suffering from a slight sushi induced coma. lol  . . .  So I was wondering what to post about tonight and it was a three way toss up between all of the items you see here in the title. The winner? Sonic Booms! As this is the one menu item that happened to me here locally and it scared the ever lovin' piss out of me. We'll touch on the other two topics at a later time.

So here I am at home today getting ready to go see "Inception" (my movie comment to follow) when all of a sudden I hear what sounds like some kind of explosion and my entire townhouse shook! Then about twenty seconds later, another equally as loud and earth shaking boom goes off. At first I swore it was my neighbors, thinking maybe they had dropped something really big and heavy, but for it to shake the whole building . . well let's just say they would have had to have dropped a grown elephant in their bedroom. I checked outside to see if anything was amiss and saw nothing. So off I went to the movie hoping that nothing had actually exploded next door and that I wasn't going to come home to two crispy fried kitty cats.

After returning home and checking my Facebook I found out what exactly had happened and it's pretty crazy. Apparently it was a "float plane" that had entered restricted presidential air space over Western Washington while President Barack Obama was in town. The big O was in town, only minutes away and I knew nothing of it! I swear I'm always the last to know about these things. So it was two F-15 fighter jets that had been scrambled out of the Portland airport that had triggered the sonic booms. Why they came from Portland is a mystery to me considering we have more than a few military bases here locally. So this poor pilot and passenger had no idea that they had entered restricted airspace and after landing in Lake Washington they were greeted by the Secret Service. Oops!

For those of you that don't know the Pac NW lingo, a "float plane" is a sea plane like this:

















Now, I've met a President (Clinton) and I've also had the opportunity to actually work with the Secret Service for the protection of a former Vice President, (told you I was a Jill of all trades) and I can tell you . . . they don't fuck around! The LAST thing you want to see getting off of a plane is a group of men in black suits, sunglasses, and earpieces coming for you. Yeah, they really do look like the Men in Black. Eventually they let the pair go, but this incident not only scared the crap out of the majority of residents throughout the region but it also knocked out 911 emergency services for an hour. So the moral of the story here kids is if you're a pilot, make sure you have clearance to fly. Poor guy.

That's it for tonight!
-Gwen-

P.S. "Inception" BLEW MY MIND! Great movie but you better be prepared to exercise some of those neurons to keep up.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Cape Disappointment lives up to it's name.

Yesterday my man and I embarked on a weekend camping trip to Ilwaco, WA to stay at Cape Disappointment State Park on the southern most tip of Washington. For the record it was named by an English fur trader in 1788 because he was unable to find the Heceta river, which apparently was a big "disappointment". We reserved a Yurt (Year Round Tent) to stay in, hoping for some private time away. This is a Yurt:

In reading up on this area prior to leaving we found that the Bortle Dark-Sky Scale rated it at a #2, meaning it was next to being one of the darkest areas where you can see a majority of the stars in the night's sky. So we also brought our telescope to star gaze. After a long drive we finally arrived, found our site, and to our dismay found that the adjacent sites were much, MUCH closer to ours than the pictures made it seem. Our neighbors to the left looked as though they had been living there, and I can say that with some certainty because of the freezer chest they had set up outside of their camper. Seriously? Who brings a freezer chest camping? From the pictures above you can see that the Yurt is basically a round canvas dwelling with a bunk bed and it also had a futon couch, table and two chairs, heater, and indoor light. Kind of luxury camping compared to pitching a tent. 

So anyway, we get unpacked and I'm ready to build a fire in the pit (yes I'm in charge of building fires). I had a bunch of large pieces of hard wood, an ax, and a hatchet of which I fully intended on using to show off my womanly muscles. To my surprise, chopping wood wasn't as cool as I remembered. After my second whack of the wood against the concrete pad had resonated throughout the campground and I got a comment from my neighbor 10 feet away of "Ya know, you're not supposed to chop petrified wood" (hardy har har) I said to hell with it and started the fire anyway with the massive chunks of lumber. It was a great fire though, and even after extinguishing the flames the embers burned into the early morning hours. 

When we had first arrived we saw some clouds and fog rolling in, which being in Washington isn't too big of a shocker, but this was putting a damper on our star watching. It only got worse as the cold moved in and the foggy mist seemed to piss all over our campsite. So we hit the bunk pretty early and as we lay there we could literally hear the girl at the site next to us turning over on her air mattress. The idea of being intimate without the whole campground hearing (I'm a screamer) was out! At least we stayed warm in our sleeping bags as we shared the bottom bunk. Not the most comfortable of "beds" but it was a LOT better than an air mattress and no one could hear us turning over. 

My wake up call this morning? The neighbors diesel truck turning over for a fishing trip at 5 AM. Since sleep, comfort, star gazing and privacy were out the window we decided to bug out a day early and go home. So, in summary . . . Cape Disappointment definitely lived up to it's name!

-End Rant

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Shoulda Been a Cop!

I always wanted to be a cop, but I was never in the "shape" for it. My local academy requires it's recruits to run five miles a day, and although I'm getting in shape I'm no where close to having that stamina! But when I was 12 I moved away from Seattle and ended up in Montana. What a culture shock! Just about everyone in town owned a gun or rifle and my family (coming from a military and police background) eventually bought some firearms as well. We really fit in then!

So at the age of 13, I learned how to handle and shoot (quite accurately) hand guns and rifles. I'm proud of the Annie Oakley status everyone thought I had achieved, and to this day my .357 is in my night stand.  Coming from a family that was in law enforcement I've kinda been into the idea of joining the "force" on and off throughout my life. Through a family member I acquired an ex-cop car complete with ram bars, side light, and antennas. I opted to have the prisoner cage and handcuff molded back seat removed or replaced. But as you can imagine when I come rolling down the freeway . . people MOVE! It's a dark car and I think a lot of people are so used to cops looking like me it freaks the hell out of them! LOL Sometimes I'll purposely wear all black and don my spiffy shades to make myself look extra authoritative.

You'd be simply shocked at how many people will hit the brakes when they see me rolling up behind them! If they don't move out of my way they slow WAY down, which always makes me laugh. Like today I had this guy in a total beater car coming onto the freeway and he was on his cell phone (which is illegal here without a hands free device). As he merged on we locked eyes and I gave him the "You know that's illegal right?" look, and boy did he get far behind me. Once he caught up to me as I exited I noticed that he was giving me the "Wait, is she REALLY a cop?" look. I'm telling ya, it's priceless!

I really dig my ride because it's intimidating, and can probably out run most sports cars. She's a boat, but she's a mean one! So be warned, if you drive with me and my lead foot, you better hold on.  =)



Remember, hang up and drive!
-Gwen-

Friday, August 13, 2010

"Staying Power" in the BBW Niche

For tonight's post I'm going to delve into how you as a model can have "staying power" in the adult BBW niche. It's a really super simple concept, you just have to trust me on this. First off, this industry can chew you up and spit you out overnight. I can't tell you how many models I have seen come and go over the years on all sorts of sites. The mistake I think a lot of women make is that this is some kind of "get rich quick" operation. The idea of "Hey, if I just get naked on the internet I'll rake it in hand over fist." can only lead to a flash in the pan career.

So here's all you have to do . . . enjoy what you produce. That's it! Now, you can't enter into this business lightly, because let's be honest it's not for everyone, or even most. The money will ebb and flow, that's a guarantee, and I think a lot of models who don't see a paycheck of $2,000/month just up a quit. Sorry ladies, it just does NOT work that way. The key here to "enjoying what you do" will translate to potential members and help you retain the current ones you have. Think about it, if you're putting content out that looks like you'd rather be cleaning up after your dog than posing for the camera, would you blame guys for not clicking that Join button?

Look I may not update my site as often as I "should" but when I do post new content it's typically been thought out, planned for, set up properly, and I really like it. My very first sets were pretty lame, and I can admit that but I still have them up for my members so they can see how my work has grown over the years. More than anything for me, my work is my art, a creative outlet if you will. So in summery do what turns YOU on, do what excites YOU, do what makes YOU happy and your fans/admirers will enjoy what you show them that much more.

One last topic . . . As I mentioned in a previous post, when I first started in this industry I didn't have anyone to hand hold me through the business. I've had to figure out the majority of what I do and run on my own. I have the privilege of knowing a select few models/webmasters that are or have been extremely successful, and when I need them, they are there. Unfortunately, more often than not you'll run into those in the biz that see their knowledge as a "trade secret". I have seen advice and opinion turn into a full blown war amongst models and webmasters and it's not pretty. I can't help but read those situations and think (in the immortal words of Mr. Rodney King) "Can't we all just get along?".

I have been working in this industry for nine years and I will freely admit that I don't know everything there is to know, and I may not be the "best" out there, however, I AM experienced and I'm making myself available to models or potential models to ask questions. I personally believe that the more educated you are about a subject the better you'll be at doing and understanding that particular thing. I remember where I started from and at times it was tough, frustrating, costly, annoying, frightening, and nerve racking. Not having someone who could relate and give me a point of view from someone who had "been there" was rough.

So for my part in "paying it forward" I have started creating tutorials for my models that range from how to advertise yourself and best posting practices all the way to simple photo editing techniques and where you can get great deals on outfits and shoes for shoots. Competition is healthy because it makes us strive to be better and raise the bar. So to those of you ladies out there reading this that are stuck or seeking some friendly advise, feel free to ask.

Keep on keepin' on!
-Gwen-

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You CAN Handle the Truth!

I was thinking about my "A Closure at the Rumor Mill" post and I was thinking back on some other past and present fabrications about me that really blew my mind. It's funny how you hear these things from random people and it might takes ages for it to get back to you, which inevitably by the time you hear it, it's already picked up traction. So ya know I thought since this is my blog I can say whatever I want because it's all mine.Guess what. That's exactly what I'm going to do. So let's do this people and get it ALL out there!

Here are a few doosies that threw me for a proverbial loop (- Newest to oldest - ):

Falsity #1: I left my husband and ran away with Vermillion.
Reality Check: LOL Now I love Vermillion, who is a FRIEND and nothing more. We're great dorky buddies that call each other "Dude". If you've ever seen a video of us or seen us on cam you'll know right away that there is nothing sexual between us. Of course I think she's a knockout, but I'm very straight.


Falsity #2: I got WLS (Weight Loss Surgery).
Reality Check: Done and covered in "A Closure at the Rumor Mill"

Falsity #3: That I force my models to show "pink".
Reality Check: I take a lot of offense to this one because it could not be further from the truth! I would never and have never forced ANYONE to do something they didn't want to. If you read my last post then you'll see how I operate, and that is allowing my models to show whatever THEY want . . not me. As a photographer I treat my models with 100% respect and professionalism. When I'm shooting a model I always make sure to let her know that we'll be doing whatever SHE is comfortable with, and I talk through the whole shoot either providing direction or funny little quips. 


Falsity #4: I used to be a hardcore porn star, turned "soft".
Reality Check: Now this one really had me rolling, and I almost came close to peeing my pants. When I first started modeling on the web I had done maybe three "hardcore" videos for my site. Shortly thereafter I realized that it just wasn't for me, so I stopped producing content like that. In the few harder videos I did do they were mainly by myself, but if there was a guy in them with me then that's my husband. 


I think that's about all of the ones I've heard or was told by a reliable source. I hope you found most of them as funny as I have. If you hear something that you think might be a rumor, just ask me! I think more people should have the gonads to go to the source for the truth.

-Gwen-

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Plump Dolls - Origins

I have the great pleasure of working with all of the gorgeous gals at www.plumpdolls.com and this is what inspired me to produce the site!

The idea behind Plump Dolls sprung from a desire to create a place where big girls from plump to "super sized" could display their bodies in whatever way they wanted to. To be able to express their own individual styles, fetishes, desires, turn ons, art, creativity, in a way they would become empowered by. Freedom to be themselves is highly encouraged.

When I first started web modeling I was on a HUGE multi-girl site where BBWs were rare finds. Then I moved to a BBW exclusive multi-girl site for about 5 months before venturing off on my own. www.GwenDolan.com has been the result since late 2005. From my time on multi-girl sites I learned a lot about what I didn't like and what I would change if I was ever a webmaster. When it comes to my work as a model I hate to be censored and told I "can't" do or show something. So with the creation of PD I decided to give all of the models accepted into the site free reign on what type of content they provided.

There are no restrictions (aside from illegal stuff) as opposed to other multi BBW sites. All of the models on PD are 200 pounds or more. Why so low for a BBW site? Well because even at 200 pounds most women are considered "fat", "curvy", or "plump" by society's standards. Plus I personally like any girl with womanly curves. The girls on PD can submit softcore/pinup content all the way to full on hardcore . . . anything goes! And THAT my friends is the beauty of Plump Dolls. You never know what you're going to get with the next update. And us girls like to keep you guessing.

So what you'll see when looking around back in the member area is extreme diversity. I absolutely love seeing what all of the ladies come up with!  They inspire me to not only be a better model, but a better webmaster, simply because I was there when I started and not everyone in the industry was so willing to extend a helping hand. There are a LOT of sites out there, with a lot of girls to choose from, but the difference between the Dolls and many other sites is that they are exposing so much more than skin. They're exposing "themselves".

So that's why PD is here. Thanks to all of my girls on PD and to all of my Honorary Dolls who make this site possible and keep on kicking ass!

~Gwen~ 
(Adapted from "The Madam is Here" at the Plump Dolls member forum)

A Closure at the Rumor Mill

**WARNING** If you want to know where I'm at and what my personal opinion on weight loss is, get cozy, it's going to be a looooong post. Some of you may have noticed from chatting with me or from my time on cam that I have lost a little weight. This post is to close down a past rumor and any future ones that pop up because of my diminishing size. This will more than likely be some what controversial but I feel that it's in my best interest to tell you all the truth of the situation and not blow smoke up your collective asses.

Here are the facts, and then we'll go over a few things afterwards.

1. Yes I have lost weight, and yes I am actively losing weight. (I can just about hear the cumulative out cries from FAs and admirers across the globe screaming "NOOOOOOOOO")
2. NO, I did not, have never, and will never go under the knife for weight loss surgery!
3. Yes, one day I'd like to have some offspring, and for the benefit of myself and the future twinkle in my eye I cannot be the size that I am.
4. I am in great health and always have been, but there gets to be a point in most overweight peoples lives where they say, enough.

Now as far as rumors go, I have it on good authority who started the WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) one and I'm sad to say this was most likely started but a "colleague" in my industry. To protect my "source" I can't give out names but it always just plain sucks when someone from your "team" has to stir an already muddled pot. But anyhow I digress. So I guess this all came about a little over two years ago after I dropped from 405 pounds to 355 pounds over about five months. I worked my ever loving ass off for those 50 pounds, and although there are a lot of people who have very real and valid health issues, requiring them to get WLS . .  I am NOT one of them. I took charge of my life because I wasn't happy at that size and I certainly wasn't comfortable. So ya know? I changed things. After losing the 50 pounds I felt so much better about myself not just for looks or health but because I felt more like "me" again.

Well I stopped losing after the initial 50 pounds, went back to eating crappy stuff, and in two years I had gained back 15 of what I had lost. I got to a point where all of that great tasting "crap" got old and tiresome. Cheesecake is GREAT, but it's ideal in moderation. Let's be honest . . if you were in mixed company and asked "Any of you ladies ever eaten a whole cheesecake?" you'd probably get laughed out of the room or there would be many raised eyebrows, right? I've done my own eating videos in the past by request, but they were done as a fetish fulfillment. I've never gone to McDonalds and ordered five double cheeseburgers, three fries, a giant shake, and THEN gone to gag in the bag for more. I've never been a big eater, and you can ask ANYONE who knows me or has had a meal with me to find out that I'm the slowest eater in the world.

Now, I know this is a very controversial subject and I have kept my mouth shut on my personal journey with this but ya know what? I don't really care what anyone but myself thinks about this because it is I that has to live in this body and no one else. I'm just here to set the record straight, take it or leave it. I may lose some fans or members in the process, but that's understandable. I'm not a gainer (never have been), and pretty soon I won't fit into the "SSBBW" category anymore either. But when I started on the web modeling I was much, MUCH lighter than I am now. I think that can be said for a lot of plus sized ladies in this industry. We are encouraged on an almost daily basis to gain and get bigger and "sexier" by our fans. It's a personal choice whether or not you decide to get bigger, and if you do find yourself 100 pounds heavier from when you started doing this it's your choice alone to stay on the same road or turn around and go back.

It's a shame when ever I see a model or former model post on a forum that she's thinking about losing weight or is asking for support only to be shot down from both sides. It's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Because if you gain you're labeled some kind of freak show by society, if you lose and talk about it you must be some kind of hypocrite. So what's a girl to do guys? I can tell you that this girl is going to do what she's always done . . stay true to herself. For the ladies, do what is in YOUR best interest, because this is your life and I'm pretty sure this is the only one we've got to play with so make it the best you can, bigger or smaller.

Remember to always be true to yourself, no matter where it leads you.

-Gwen-

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Chivalry isn't just dead . . it's extinct!

I think it's pretty fair to say that most ladies would agree with me on this one. Even though I was born in the 70's and I'm not old enough to remember the days when men were "men" and the women stayed at home tending the house; I'd like to think at some point in history there was a reason men were described as being "chivalrous". I think this ideal has been dwindling fast and furiously as of late.

The pinnacle of this revelation came to me today after watching the "World's Worst" on Countdown with Keith Obermann. When a Mr. Brown of Fort Walton Beach, Florida met his blind date at her car, got in, and held her up at gunpoint demanding all of her money. After relieving her of $90 he walked away as she fled in her car to the police and he proceeded into the Olive Garden where they were meant to spend their date, and he bought HIMSELF dinner. Needless to say, 1. He was arrested and 2. He's obviously never even heard of the word or idea of chivalry.

If you've ever wondered what women really want then listen up boys. Those of us of the female persuasion liked to be "wooed". Unfortunately most men don't think much of this method. In the eternal words of Paul Buchman, "It's exhausting to woo, you woo, you woo, and you woo, and then you've got to go: Whoa!". Understandably you guys don't necessarily want to keep wooing your woman if you've been together for longer than 6-12 months, BUT if you want your lady to get all giddy and excited (which might improve things in the bedroom if they're stale) then all you have to do is this:


1. Bring her the occasional bunch of flowers for no reason. Don't wait for some special date like an anniversary or pity bouquet after an argument. Surprise her!


2. Next time you kiss your woman, throw some sweet sweet romance into it. What does that mean? Well instead of the "peck" or the "I wanna get it on" kiss, try kissing her gently at first, run your hand up the back of her neck running your fingers into her hair while holding her head in your hand. Or the ever popular caressing her face with the back of your hand.


3. Cooking at home or getting take out can get old really quick. If you don't have the funds to take your lady out to a nice dinner then get creative. Make a quick and easy picnic (Go to the store and buy deli sandwiches, salad, chips, and soda for a lunch setting. Or jazz it up for an evening outing with some Brie, water crackers, strawberries, grapes, and a sweet wine like a Gew├╝rztraminer, Muscat, or Riesling. If one of you prefers reds then buy a nice rich Port and 
some chocolate covered bing cherries, blueberries, and apricots, the perfect combination!) and 
take her to the beach, a local park, the pier, the mountains, or someplace special to you both 
(scenic is preferable).

So there are just a few little actions to help keep the "wooing" going. 
Good luck and keep chivalry alive!

-Gwen-

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dispelling the myths . . . Horse Dick Guy

I think this post might help some of you guys plagued with the myth that all women want guys with big dicks. It all came together tonight when sitting here in bed I turned to see what the newest episode of the HBO series "Pornacopia" had on tap. When I read that one of the topics was extreme fetishes including sheep it brought me back to a guy I saw on a free cam site earlier today. Thus comes . . . the Horse Dick Guy.

I saw the screen capture of this guy stroking what appeared to be the biggest dick I've ever seen. So of course I had to click through to verify. lol Sure enough there towered before the cam what had to be a world record holder for a human tripod. Judging from his hand placement I'd wager this one eyed monster was roughly 13-14 inches. Now, my first thought was this, "Holy shit that thing is HUGE!!" and my second thought guys?  . . . "OUCH!" Then I just felt sorry for the guy because he had a gigantic horse penis. It was the length of one and the head was smaller than the rest, giving it a very "equestrian" feel.

You see guys, despite what the pornos would have you believe not all woman drool over a giant bulging package. Don't get me wrong, it's a big turn on when I can tell I give a guy a boner but if when he unzips, a fire hose comes reeling out . . I'm calling it a night! Think about it this way, the average aroused vagina stretches up to four inches. So let's say the above average vagina will stretch another two inches (keeping in mind that when unaroused it's length is between 2.5 - 3 inches) so that means Mr. Horse Dick will probably only get less than half of his monster cock into your average woman.

I would imagine that most guys prefer going "balls deep" when getting down and dirty, and most women want orgasms without the fear of impalement. So to all of you guys out there worried that what you're packing isn't "impressive" enough or you're considering buying some male enhancement pills . . . don't. You're more than likely going to satisfy your women beyond her wildest dreams. All you need to know is how she likes to be "sexed up". Good luck and remember size really isn't everything!

-Gwen-