Saturday, December 4, 2010

Attending My Own Funeral

Don't worry, I'm not dead or ill, and no I have not run off with some guy from the Internet who wanted me to remove my website (ya know what they say about assuming . . . it makes an ass out of "u" and me). This is what's really going on and why I decided to close my site . . .

I had been considering closing my website for some time (a couple years) and as of late a few things had come up that made the decision to close my doors easier and necessary. Let me just say that having modeled for the last nine years or so has been very empowering, I have met a plethora of amazing people and made some life long friends, and I have experienced so many fascinating things that I wouldn't change all of that for anything. So that brings me to my biggest reason for wanting to make my exit . . . content theft.

I've always been a hard worker in anything I've done and my site was no different. I put a lot of time, money, effort, and above all heart into producing my content. My content is like my kid, I created it and gave it life. To see someone has raped my creation and then joyfully allows everyone under the sun to do the same by encouraging such behavior, rips at my very soul. I have no tolerance for these hijackers and after yet another site rip I had hit my limit, and closed up shop. When you walk the fence between protecting your work and pleasing your viewers, eventually you have to jump to one side. Sorry fellas but I'll win every time when it comes to standing up for myself. I will always fight for what is right and fair, and for that I watch my models like a hawk when it comes to protecting them from the same.

Reason two was the easy part of my verdict . . . new responsibilities. I've never really just modeled as a career. It's been a fun side project that allowed me to be creative and sexy. Recently my other commitments have taken up a much much larger space in my life. I found that I had very little time left in my day to unwind and relax, let alone shoot content. In my opinion it was only fair to remove my site when I could not provide the frequent updates that I know members want and rightfully pay for. Even now I'm looking at the clock and seeing that I have a small amount of time left before I need to hit the hay. Tomorrow is going to be an early and long day and then it's back to the grind.

Another reason that factored in but was not a deal breaker . . . my weight loss. I have lost 100 pounds from my heaviest weight, 64 of which have been since I started this journey back in June. It's been difficult to talk to some of you about this in chats because for many it's the pure size of a woman that gets your motor running and I'm well aware of that. To some the idea of a woman losing weight is actually a turn off. I get it (well as best as I can) and although I feel sexier now than ever before my new looks are no longer geared towards the crowd I once appealed to. I'm beyond proud of myself for my accomplishments in weight loss as it's a long hard road to travel down, but I'm doing what is in my best interests and that's all I hope anyone would do for themselves.

Many models would never admit this and rail against it, but I'm not getting any younger people (unless I Photoshop myself to be and that's not who I am). Once I hit 34 last month it really sank in that I'm just not the type to do the modeling forever. I'm getting older, and I hope wiser. In the infamous words of Kenny Rogers, "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run." So for me, I'm folding my hand and walking away but not running mind you and here's why. . .

Part of my decision making process involved a desire to step behind the camera and websites more than I had been able to do before. I absolutely love working with other models by helping them express themselves in the most beautiful and inspirational ways while providing them with a fair and secure experience. The women I work with are some of the most marvelous ladies you'd ever hope to meet and I am truly honored to be able to collaborate with them. I have been wanting to delve deeper into the management side of the business as well as the photography. I feel so at home behind the lens because it allows me to capture the essence of that woman's sensuality, her desires, and passions in a way that only someone who has been there can see. I will still be around in the community, just in a different way.

In summary, yes I am retired from modeling (much like the retirements of Sir Anthony Hopkins, Stephen King, and Brett Favre but very unlike the retirement of Joaquin Phoenix) but you may just see the occasional guest appearance on! I still love pretty pictures of myself (what girl doesn't?) and when I have the time and creation that is worthy of releasing, you'll be sure to know.

Finally I just have to say a big thank you to everyone who has been a "fan" (I hate that word by the way, it always makes me feel like an egomaniacal narcissist), admirer, friend, and supporter over the years. Thank you to those who never said a word but loved to watch, and an even bigger thanks to those that communicated with me. I have loved chatting, talking, and meeting all of you. I will continue to look forward to corresponding with you here, my Twitter, MySpace, FormSpring, or through the many forums I will still be active on.

Much love to you all, and I'll be seeing you! ::tip of the hat::

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What are you measurements?

I haven't taken measurements in a LONG time, so I just found the measuring tape and here's what I am now: 42-44-58 (Damn I wasn't expecting 58"! lol)

Ask me anything

Hi, you've been losing weight latley and I know this is going to sound weird but it's really turning me on! Watching you shrink really gets me off! I love seeing you get smaller and smaller each update, please get skinny Gwen!

Well thank you! I love seeing myself get smaller and smaller too as a matter of fact. It's quite fasinating actually because I have a different body now than I did when I was 20 and it's like peeling away the layers to reveal a new woman. I'm smaller now than I was in my last update, so I'll need to get some new ones done to show off the new, new me! I don't know if I'll ever be considered "skinny" but I'm having fun getting "thinner". =)

Ask me anything

At this moment in time, what would you like to be know for??

I'd like to be known for being a good model, an awesome photographer, and a fair and honest webmaster. I've never wanted to be "famous" but being acknowledged for all of the work I do is always appreciated.

Ask me anything

What are you doing for Halloween and what is your costume going to be??

I'm going to a kick ass "Haunted Corn Maze" that's like running through a horror movie . . . for your life. Drinks beforehand and after so it ought to be an awesome night. This year I'll be going as a waitress from True Blood's Merlotte's Bar & Grill. I've got the tiny tight tee, apron, and a bottle of Tru Blood in case I run into any hungry vamps!

Ask me anything

Saturday, October 2, 2010

If you really knew me . . .

You'd know that when I was at my heaviest of 405 pounds I wasn't happy, or comfortable, or content. I was in fact . . . miserable. This brings me to the topic of this post which I can imagine will be controversial to some considering who I am and what I do. I have kept my trap shut for many years on this subject but considering this is MY blog I can say whatever I damn well want. This morning I learned of a tragic passing of a model I knew (I will not be divulging her name out of respect, so please don't ask). Although we weren't close friends I had a lot of admiration for her. She was going through an extremely difficult time in her life, a pain in which I can relate to, but not to the degree she was feeling. As she dealt with this pain, she ate, and she ate a lot. More often than not I believe that overeating and over indulging is related to some emotion we're feeling, whether that be sadness, loss, stress, joy, boredom, or greed. I'll be totally honest here when I say that I believe my friend ate herself to death. After hearing of her passing I couldn't stand by any longer and say nothing on this, because I have had a problem with the whole "feeding/gaining" subject for far too long.

As a model first coming into this industry I never even knew of a "BBW" scene. I didn't start modeling because I was overweight, I started because it made me feel like a more confident and sexy woman. Once I was introduced to the BBW side of the playing field, the entire game changed. I was noticed more for my "fat parts" then who I was as a whole. This led to my then webmaster highly encouraging me to do eating content. I never understood the whole concept of it, because as just a regular girl the thought of purposely eating in front of people weirded me out. I always was and always have been very resistant to doing "eating/gaining" content, because for me it's a lie. I may be a "foodee" because I really appreciate my food (see "My Weekly Indulgence: Sushi & Making it "Special"") but I have never been a "gainer". Let's face it, I'm big for a reason. There have been times where I have fulfilled a member request to do an eating video, but I didn't see it as anything more a special request, because I know it's a sought after fetish. I never particularly felt comfortable doing those requests, but I did them anyway. It may be hypocritical for me to say I'm against it and then look back at my past work only to see how I jumped on the bandwagon, but I can admit I never liked it and I shouldn't have done it.

Here's where I'm concerned. I see a lot of new models come into this industry and they quickly fall into the culture of "bigger is better" and before you know it they have eaten their way through 50, 100, 150, 200 pounds. Look, I'm not saying that EVERY model you see is going to fit into this situation, but I can speak from personal experience. I think when I first started modeling I was around 270 pounds, and as the years rolled by, the pounds packed on. Before I knew it I was 405 pounds, getting up from the couch after eating a bunch of crap, having the mother of all epiphanies in the form of a crippling inner thigh muscle cramp. After hobbling upstairs I made my way into a hot shower in an effort to relieve the excruciating spasm. As I stood there crying (I hardly ever cry . . . ever) and bracing myself against the wall I thought, "This is IT!". I could no longer ignore what I was doing to myself, and my body protested to the point of actually taking me down! So that night I decided that something had to be done, and six months later I was 55 pounds lighter and feeling MUCH improved. Eventually I reverted back to old habits and gained back 20 pounds over the next two years. I can now tell you that over the last four months I've shed 50 pounds and I'm lighter now then I was six years ago.

I realize now that when it comes to being overweight, obese, and the worst sounding one . . . morbidly obese; it's an issue that's SO much deeper than just not understanding and abiding by "calories in vs. calories out". I know a plethora of heavy women and men, and I know that the majority (not all) of them have real world issues that contribute to their weight. It's a matter of figuring yourself out first and dealing with those issues in a healthy way and the rest will follow. If you find that you're honestly happy being big then I say more power to you. But if you're out there and you're playing the "I wish I could _____" (Not require a seat belt extender on my flight, ride that roller coaster, buy that cute outfit that doesn't come in my size, drive my car without the wheel touching my body, go to a restaurant and not worry about their seating, step in an elevator without people looking at me like I'm going to bring the fucker down) game, just know that you absolutely CAN turn the tables in your favor. The first thing you have to realize is that yes, there is a problem. The second thing you have to come to grips with is asking for help, because everyone needs a support system, no matter how strong and independent you think you may be.

Everyone is going to do what they want regardless of what I say on my blog, but hear me out and then I'll shut it. We only have this one life that we know of and in the vastness of the cosmos we are fleeting. What I'm saying is, our time is limited and as I personally get older it seems that it all goes by in the blink of an eye. I want to live as fully as I can, and although I will never be a thin person I can certainly be a more actively fit thick person instead of a restricted "morbidly" obese person trapped in my own self made prison. Life is what we make of it. As a model I know that looks don't last forever and that goes for any model, big or small, and that there is always a newer, prettier, younger model that will fill my place. So I have to think, "How do I want to be living my life after this is all over?", and I can honestly say I didn't envision living it as a 405 pound women for the rest of my days, because that's quite a grim future.

In closing, I know all too well how much of a struggle losing weight is. It's a real pisser because it seems so great at the time when you're eating that pint of Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream, but it's SO much easier to put it on then it is to get if off again. So if there are any of you out there that need support, my inbox is always open. I really do care about my fellow modeling sisters and in our industry I know the pressures to "get bigger", and I know how tempting those memberships are, but eventually you may find yourself "Done" and if you get there, feel free to reach out . . . I'll be here for you.

Much Love,

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Night Time Lullaby (Courtesy of BBT)

♫ Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr. ♫


Friday, September 24, 2010

Life is short. Have an AFFAIR??

This might not be news to everyone, but when I saw this commercial tonight my jaw hit the floor and at first I didn't think I heard it correctly. So I backed up the DVR and watched it a second time only to find that I DID hear this correctly and I was in shock! Have a look:

Let's put aside the creepiness factor that this bears a remarkable resemblance to the old "School House Rock" educational videos, but HELLO! This website at first blush looks like any other dating site, until you read their slogan, "Life is short. Have an affair.". Seriously, I'm still in shock that not only is there a site that caters to cheating spouses, but that they also promote infidelity in national commercials! I know that the divorce rate in this country is significant. According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology: The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage:
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

So obviously there are a lot of people out there in some tough relationships, and I'm sure many of them fantasise about being with someone else and experiencing a different life than the one they are living. However, there's a BIG difference between a fantasy and actually "hooking up" with someone from a secretive adultery service. Look, I'm not one to say when you get married you are locked into it forever without a choice. Shit happens, people change, some are abused, some are neglected, but I have to say that if you're in a marriage that sucks THAT bad then you only have to do one thing . . . get out. Yes, it will only get worse before it gets better if divorce is a giant monkey on your back but let's think of the alternatives.

You make a profile on this site, you meet some interesting people and decide to arrange a date. At this point, if you have a heart and a soul there HAS to be part of you that knows that what you're about to do is wrong. If you're walking out the door with a condom in your pocket or extra makeup to make sure you look right when you get home than you might as well pack a bag too because you're about to take yourself on a guilt trip. Then you have to consider all of the hiding you'll have to do to make sure you don't blow your cover and alert the spouse. What if your partner DOES find out? At worse you'll get divorced and be forced by court order to pay out years and years of alimony/palimony to your ex, or hey maybe handing off an STD would be a great way to say, "Maybe we should break up". Anyway you slice it, no one wins.

So if you are considering using a site like the one above or thinking of cheating on your spouse, do a favor for the both of you and either work through your issues as a couple, or separate. Because if this is crossing your mind as a good idea then you likely are not with the right person for you, or you need to be single.

Good luck out there!

P.S. If none of what I said dissuades you from cheating then I give you one more tidbit to consider. What if by signing up for this completely immoral site you are now unknowingly falling victim to a giant corporate merger of the TV show "Cheaters" and Kiss your ass goodbye in the courtroom, 'cause it's not "Candid Camera" you've been caught on!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

My Weekly Indulgence: Sushi & Making it "Special"

Being a self-proclaimed "foodie" that is also losing weight can be challenging. So every week I try to fit in an indulgence or splurge if you will. It keeps me on track with being good all week when I can look forward to enjoying something I love come the weekend. Today I decided to delight in one of my favorite foods . . . SUSHI!! Because it's such a delicacy for me I treat my meal with great respect to make it seem really "special". I pop on over to my local Blue C Sushi and grab all of my favorites to go off of the sushi carousel that runs through the entire restaurant. Very metro.

Here's where I'll start sounding like a women with an obsession (and if I am obsessed, I'll take that moniker and wear it proudly). There's a process involved when preparing to dive head long into a plate full of decadent raw fishies. I "plate" my sushi in order to give it all a very elegant and gourmet feeling. **For those of you readers that LOVE sushi this will probably make you drool a little so grab a hanky. The rest of you that loath the idea of eating raw fish, you might want to turn away.** So I arrange everything like so (Yes, this is actually my dinner that I shot a picture of) :

What you're seeing here is as follows starting clockwise: Sesame noodles, Edamame, Philadelphia Roll, Salmon Nigiri, Seared Tuna (with sauce), my most favorite of all the Spider Roll with soft shell crab, and a side of soy sauce. Now when eating such flavorful seafood I must use a system so that each piece gives the most satisfaction. So I'll typically start with a Philly roll and alternate around the plate enjoying each piece as I enter into a magical sushi coma. LOL

The great thing about sushi is that it's all very lean and pretty darn healthy for you. Plus the fact that my guy HATES it with a passion, there's no worry of him wanting to bogart my salmon. When asked he said, "I would have to be starving on a deserted island before I'd eat that, and even then if I was alive enough I'd make a fire and cook it first!". I should mention he's never tried it, so I say he doesn't know what he's missing. =)

There you have it, my weekly indulgence and how I make it something special.

Catch ya on the flip side! (See what I did there? "Catch" and sushi? Get it? Never mind it must be late.)


Friday, September 17, 2010

Three Words I Never Thought I'd Say

"Thank you Tyra!"

I was watching the newest "America's Next Top Model" (hereafter referred to as ANTM) and before I go any further let me just say I don't watch it for the drama, Tyra's latest pants suit from the future, or the J's. I watch it for, and typically fast forward to, the photo shoots to see the behind the scenes of hair, makeup, wardrobe, shoot locations, photography, and the finished product. It's always interesting to see who gets the boot, and in this first elimination I was actually pleasantly surprised at the judge's decision. Let me explain for those who do not what the show (namely you guys out there).

As the new housemate models were getting to know each other a couple of girls were discussing another girl's thin frame. I believe that this girl's name was AnnaMarie or something like that. So Anna says something about having been "thicker" before, and that her Mom is always encouraging her to gain a little weight. The other girls ask Anna "How much did you weight?", Anna replies, "When I was thick I was 130 pounds". The girls ask, "How much do you weight now?", Anna replies, "I'm about 110 pounds." To which MY reply was, "WTF!! Are you serious??"

Anna explained that she had to be on a strict low calorie diet in order to maintain the weight she liked (being 110 lbs.) and when she looked in the mirror she liked to be able to see her "abs". Girl I swear, you have to have toned abdominal muscles in order to actually SEE them. So at the photo shoot the girls had to wear bikinis and when Anna's turn came up, the photographer and creative director had issues with only seeing bones on her. When you turn your back to me and I can actually see your ribs from the BACK, I'm more likely to think you've been starving for awhile, not that you're model material. I'm sorry but any "model" that looks emaciated is just sad.

At the elimination Anna was the first to go, because of her unhealthy body image. Tyra told her that she and the judges thought Anna would be sending that unhealthy message to a lot of young girls, and that there are a LOT of thin models in the industry but that Anna was "thinner than thin". I had to applaud the panel on their decision because Anna clearly has some body image issues. It's sad to say that the biggest part on her was her ego.

So thank you ANTM, and yes, thank you Tyra for not allowing such destructive imagery of the stereotypical "thin high fashion model" to further influence our young women into wreaking havoc on their bodies just to "fit in".

-End of line . . -

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I kicked my own ass and i'll do it again!

So here I am again, back to the blog. I'm writing this up as I sit here fast forwarding through an old "America's Got Talent" in order to catch my favorite act, "Fighting Gravity". I tell ya, if you haven't seen them they are WAY cooler than the Blue Man Group. So anyhow, I'm sitting here in bed after taking some Tylenol PM (we'll get to that in a second if I don't fall asleep before the end) in my panties and my Threadless t-shirt. Let's see if you can figure this one out:

No? Well don't worry I'll clue you in at the end. Today was the day I decided I HAD to get to the gym after putting if off for weeks in an effort to further define this pear shaped body of mine. So I threw on my jogging pants and a tight workout tee and headed down to the gym this afternoon. Once there (since my iPod is taking a dirt nap) I decided to put on the most mindless show I could find on the TV above the treadmill so I didn't have to pay attention  . . . "Maury". In particular I believe the episode was called "My son is blind but I can see that he's not the father!". See, I told ya . . . mindless.

**Side note: Fighting Gravity just came on and although I love what they do, this round wasn't as good as the previous ones I've seen. Maybe I need to rewind and watch again. One moment . . . . . . . . . . . meh, second time was about the same.**

So yeah, there I am at the gym ready to kick my own ass. It's what I set out to do and I'll be damned if that's not exactly what I did. To give you an idea of how I spent my hour there: Leg press, leg curl machine, free weights, push ups, seated row, lateral pull downs, bench press, overhead press, and finally the treadmill for a brisk walk/jog. I worked up a good sweat and by the time I got off the treadmill and back onto stationary ground I felt like I was STILL on the treadmill. lol By the time I got home I felt like someone had punched me square in the pecs. You'd think that after a beating like that I'd curl up in bed and never venture into the gym again. But I have to admit, it felt good afterward, and the more I do it the easier it will become. Back to the grind tomorrow!

I think I'll be passing out now . .

P.S. Did you figure out my shirt yet, or did you peek ahead? The answer to my shirt is the "Best Mime Ever".

P.P.S. Oh and by the way, the blind guy WAS the father!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Worst Parents EVER! ~Pirahana *SPOILER ALERT*~

I took the opportunity yesterday to go see a completely brain dead movie, because I had a long day of work and really needed to have some "non-thinking" time. So the only logical choice was to go see Piranha in 3D. lol I love a good mindless gore fest, but this movie actually shocked me! When the movie started I thought I heard a little voice behind me, but I was in my "Shhhhh the movie is starting, shut the hell up" mode so I didn't pay it any attention.

So the movie starts . . . and I swear within the first 10 minutes I saw tits, there was cussing up the wazoo, and a guy got chewed to the bone. So, ok . . this is going to be a REAL gore fest! This movie had it ALL! There were lots and lots of of tits . . like a LOT! Not to mention all of the cussing, boozing, drug usage, underage drinking, blood, guts, severed body parts, assholes, bimbos, and the like. Seriously . . I consider a movie REALLY rated R when you get to see a floating severed penis that gets eaten, and then spit out half eaten. HELLO!

You'll know when a movie affects me because I'll either cry (dramatic romance) or slap your leg while waving my hand around because something is grossing me out. The leg slap happened a lot throughout this movie, it was just THAT disgusting. So after a lot of "Oh my God!" exclamations, we get to the end of this crazy horrific ride, the lights come up, I stand ready to leave, look behind me and see . . . a flippin' 3 or 4 year old! All joking aside, a set of parents decided to bring their toddler to a VERY "R" rated movie, chock full of everything a kid should NOT see! I was simply appalled at the lack of parenting skills these people had. It just didn't make any sense why someone would bring their toddler to this movie of all things when they could have seen "Despicable Me" which would have been so much more appropriate.

All I could think about after that was how traumatized this poor little boy was going to be for who knows how long. Geez, man . . I would imagine as a little boy seeing a severed penis floating around you'd never go in the water again. Much like Jaws was for us older folks. So yeah, my point being . . . please leave the kids at home with the babysitter if you really want to see an "R" rated movie, because someone may not be a nice as I was in keeping my mouth shut!


P.S. Steven Moffat's "Sherlock" is BRILLIANT!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Can blind love be made real?

After watching another episode of "Dating in the Dark" tonight I got to thinking about how we make connections with people. In this case we're looking at (for those that haven't seen the show) three men and three women living in a house for what looks to be a weekend span, in completely separate wings of a large mansion. They all meet for a "group date" to start in the same room which is completely pitch black. They can talk and touch each other but can't see a thing. So they go on to have individual dates with whomever each other picks based on the initial "group date". Then they go on a date with whomever has been calculated to be their most compatible match.

Even though their first impression of each other is in the dark, they already form misconceptions of each other. It's up to the individual dates to help them decide whether or not they'd like to have that person "revealed" in the light. Once they make a choice they get to finally SEE each other. I love watching the reactions as their love interest is shown. Luckily they are each revealed one at a time, so they don't see the other's reaction. Most are positive, even if that other person doesn't fit in to the other's "type", because they've already made that "connection" by getting to know each other on a personal level first and not basing it all on that first look at the outer book cover if you will.

What I find really unfortunate about this whole show is that even if one of the guys/girls makes a real connection with the other, but then his/her appearance isn't that perfect vision they had built up in their mind, they can basically stand them up. It's not as if by showing up for the other person it means you're whisked off to your wedding. All it does is say, "Something about you intrigued me, and I'm interested in finding out more." Isn't that what a second date is all about?

I think the same idea applies to internet romance. Everyday people fall in love with someone they have never met. A lot of other people can't even imagine how that's possible. But when you peel back the curtain of having to physically appeal to the opposite sex FIRST and allow yourself the opportunity to get to know who that person is on a deeper level, so much is possible. The old saying of "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is very true and very wise. Not to mention that even if you don't feel lust at first sight, love is something pure and everlasting . . . looks are NOT. That perfect ideal woman or man in your mind doesn't exist, because I'll bet you never imagine your dream guy or dream woman as a senior citizen grabbing the early bird special down at Denny's. It's what is inside their soul that you should be idealizing, not what they look like. If you're fortunate enough to find that in someone, and you truly and honestly love them for who they are, not what they look like, count yourself very lucky. We all wear masks, but allowing those few people in existence to see beneath it is a rare and precious gift.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Male Girdles -Good Idea | Bad Idea?

The other night while watching late night TV I saw a commercial for something that had me laughing my butt off. The "Slim T's", Men's Body Shaping Tank. Really people? Do we really need our guys stuffing themselves into a male equivalent of the girdle, complete with a secret! Bring on Victor's Secret: (according to the product's website) "The secret is 12 uniquely designed firming panels that trim and tighten your problem areas." It looks like the guy is wearing a fake six pack! Trust me fellas if you're trying to look slimmer to impress a woman do it the hard way, because if I was putting my hands on a man's chest only to feel seams and pads . . LOL . . we're done. Soooo . . .

Good Idea: Working out at the gym to strengthen your muscles and tone your body in order to boost your self esteem and be more attractive to the ladies (or guys if that's your thing).

Bad Idea: Wearing a male girdle to make yourself appear in better shape only to watch your woman's "chick boner" deflate when you start disrobing.

Just say NO to man girdles, trust me!


Sonic Booms, Man Girdles, & the "Ground Zero Mosque"

I know this sounds like it's going to be oddly random, but stick with me people. This will probably be a short post tonight as I'm suffering from a slight sushi induced coma. lol  . . .  So I was wondering what to post about tonight and it was a three way toss up between all of the items you see here in the title. The winner? Sonic Booms! As this is the one menu item that happened to me here locally and it scared the ever lovin' piss out of me. We'll touch on the other two topics at a later time.

So here I am at home today getting ready to go see "Inception" (my movie comment to follow) when all of a sudden I hear what sounds like some kind of explosion and my entire townhouse shook! Then about twenty seconds later, another equally as loud and earth shaking boom goes off. At first I swore it was my neighbors, thinking maybe they had dropped something really big and heavy, but for it to shake the whole building . . well let's just say they would have had to have dropped a grown elephant in their bedroom. I checked outside to see if anything was amiss and saw nothing. So off I went to the movie hoping that nothing had actually exploded next door and that I wasn't going to come home to two crispy fried kitty cats.

After returning home and checking my Facebook I found out what exactly had happened and it's pretty crazy. Apparently it was a "float plane" that had entered restricted presidential air space over Western Washington while President Barack Obama was in town. The big O was in town, only minutes away and I knew nothing of it! I swear I'm always the last to know about these things. So it was two F-15 fighter jets that had been scrambled out of the Portland airport that had triggered the sonic booms. Why they came from Portland is a mystery to me considering we have more than a few military bases here locally. So this poor pilot and passenger had no idea that they had entered restricted airspace and after landing in Lake Washington they were greeted by the Secret Service. Oops!

For those of you that don't know the Pac NW lingo, a "float plane" is a sea plane like this:

Now, I've met a President (Clinton) and I've also had the opportunity to actually work with the Secret Service for the protection of a former Vice President, (told you I was a Jill of all trades) and I can tell you . . . they don't fuck around! The LAST thing you want to see getting off of a plane is a group of men in black suits, sunglasses, and earpieces coming for you. Yeah, they really do look like the Men in Black. Eventually they let the pair go, but this incident not only scared the crap out of the majority of residents throughout the region but it also knocked out 911 emergency services for an hour. So the moral of the story here kids is if you're a pilot, make sure you have clearance to fly. Poor guy.

That's it for tonight!

P.S. "Inception" BLEW MY MIND! Great movie but you better be prepared to exercise some of those neurons to keep up.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Cape Disappointment lives up to it's name.

Yesterday my man and I embarked on a weekend camping trip to Ilwaco, WA to stay at Cape Disappointment State Park on the southern most tip of Washington. For the record it was named by an English fur trader in 1788 because he was unable to find the Heceta river, which apparently was a big "disappointment". We reserved a Yurt (Year Round Tent) to stay in, hoping for some private time away. This is a Yurt:

In reading up on this area prior to leaving we found that the Bortle Dark-Sky Scale rated it at a #2, meaning it was next to being one of the darkest areas where you can see a majority of the stars in the night's sky. So we also brought our telescope to star gaze. After a long drive we finally arrived, found our site, and to our dismay found that the adjacent sites were much, MUCH closer to ours than the pictures made it seem. Our neighbors to the left looked as though they had been living there, and I can say that with some certainty because of the freezer chest they had set up outside of their camper. Seriously? Who brings a freezer chest camping? From the pictures above you can see that the Yurt is basically a round canvas dwelling with a bunk bed and it also had a futon couch, table and two chairs, heater, and indoor light. Kind of luxury camping compared to pitching a tent. 

So anyway, we get unpacked and I'm ready to build a fire in the pit (yes I'm in charge of building fires). I had a bunch of large pieces of hard wood, an ax, and a hatchet of which I fully intended on using to show off my womanly muscles. To my surprise, chopping wood wasn't as cool as I remembered. After my second whack of the wood against the concrete pad had resonated throughout the campground and I got a comment from my neighbor 10 feet away of "Ya know, you're not supposed to chop petrified wood" (hardy har har) I said to hell with it and started the fire anyway with the massive chunks of lumber. It was a great fire though, and even after extinguishing the flames the embers burned into the early morning hours. 

When we had first arrived we saw some clouds and fog rolling in, which being in Washington isn't too big of a shocker, but this was putting a damper on our star watching. It only got worse as the cold moved in and the foggy mist seemed to piss all over our campsite. So we hit the bunk pretty early and as we lay there we could literally hear the girl at the site next to us turning over on her air mattress. The idea of being intimate without the whole campground hearing (I'm a screamer) was out! At least we stayed warm in our sleeping bags as we shared the bottom bunk. Not the most comfortable of "beds" but it was a LOT better than an air mattress and no one could hear us turning over. 

My wake up call this morning? The neighbors diesel truck turning over for a fishing trip at 5 AM. Since sleep, comfort, star gazing and privacy were out the window we decided to bug out a day early and go home. So, in summary . . . Cape Disappointment definitely lived up to it's name!

-End Rant

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Shoulda Been a Cop!

I always wanted to be a cop, but I was never in the "shape" for it. My local academy requires it's recruits to run five miles a day, and although I'm getting in shape I'm no where close to having that stamina! But when I was 12 I moved away from Seattle and ended up in Montana. What a culture shock! Just about everyone in town owned a gun or rifle and my family (coming from a military and police background) eventually bought some firearms as well. We really fit in then!

So at the age of 13, I learned how to handle and shoot (quite accurately) hand guns and rifles. I'm proud of the Annie Oakley status everyone thought I had achieved, and to this day my .357 is in my night stand.  Coming from a family that was in law enforcement I've kinda been into the idea of joining the "force" on and off throughout my life. Through a family member I acquired an ex-cop car complete with ram bars, side light, and antennas. I opted to have the prisoner cage and handcuff molded back seat removed or replaced. But as you can imagine when I come rolling down the freeway . . people MOVE! It's a dark car and I think a lot of people are so used to cops looking like me it freaks the hell out of them! LOL Sometimes I'll purposely wear all black and don my spiffy shades to make myself look extra authoritative.

You'd be simply shocked at how many people will hit the brakes when they see me rolling up behind them! If they don't move out of my way they slow WAY down, which always makes me laugh. Like today I had this guy in a total beater car coming onto the freeway and he was on his cell phone (which is illegal here without a hands free device). As he merged on we locked eyes and I gave him the "You know that's illegal right?" look, and boy did he get far behind me. Once he caught up to me as I exited I noticed that he was giving me the "Wait, is she REALLY a cop?" look. I'm telling ya, it's priceless!

I really dig my ride because it's intimidating, and can probably out run most sports cars. She's a boat, but she's a mean one! So be warned, if you drive with me and my lead foot, you better hold on.  =)

Remember, hang up and drive!

Friday, August 13, 2010

"Staying Power" in the BBW Niche

For tonight's post I'm going to delve into how you as a model can have "staying power" in the adult BBW niche. It's a really super simple concept, you just have to trust me on this. First off, this industry can chew you up and spit you out overnight. I can't tell you how many models I have seen come and go over the years on all sorts of sites. The mistake I think a lot of women make is that this is some kind of "get rich quick" operation. The idea of "Hey, if I just get naked on the internet I'll rake it in hand over fist." can only lead to a flash in the pan career.

So here's all you have to do . . . enjoy what you produce. That's it! Now, you can't enter into this business lightly, because let's be honest it's not for everyone, or even most. The money will ebb and flow, that's a guarantee, and I think a lot of models who don't see a paycheck of $2,000/month just up a quit. Sorry ladies, it just does NOT work that way. The key here to "enjoying what you do" will translate to potential members and help you retain the current ones you have. Think about it, if you're putting content out that looks like you'd rather be cleaning up after your dog than posing for the camera, would you blame guys for not clicking that Join button?

Look I may not update my site as often as I "should" but when I do post new content it's typically been thought out, planned for, set up properly, and I really like it. My very first sets were pretty lame, and I can admit that but I still have them up for my members so they can see how my work has grown over the years. More than anything for me, my work is my art, a creative outlet if you will. So in summery do what turns YOU on, do what excites YOU, do what makes YOU happy and your fans/admirers will enjoy what you show them that much more.

One last topic . . . As I mentioned in a previous post, when I first started in this industry I didn't have anyone to hand hold me through the business. I've had to figure out the majority of what I do and run on my own. I have the privilege of knowing a select few models/webmasters that are or have been extremely successful, and when I need them, they are there. Unfortunately, more often than not you'll run into those in the biz that see their knowledge as a "trade secret". I have seen advice and opinion turn into a full blown war amongst models and webmasters and it's not pretty. I can't help but read those situations and think (in the immortal words of Mr. Rodney King) "Can't we all just get along?".

I have been working in this industry for nine years and I will freely admit that I don't know everything there is to know, and I may not be the "best" out there, however, I AM experienced and I'm making myself available to models or potential models to ask questions. I personally believe that the more educated you are about a subject the better you'll be at doing and understanding that particular thing. I remember where I started from and at times it was tough, frustrating, costly, annoying, frightening, and nerve racking. Not having someone who could relate and give me a point of view from someone who had "been there" was rough.

So for my part in "paying it forward" I have started creating tutorials for my models that range from how to advertise yourself and best posting practices all the way to simple photo editing techniques and where you can get great deals on outfits and shoes for shoots. Competition is healthy because it makes us strive to be better and raise the bar. So to those of you ladies out there reading this that are stuck or seeking some friendly advise, feel free to ask.

Keep on keepin' on!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You CAN Handle the Truth!

I was thinking about my "A Closure at the Rumor Mill" post and I was thinking back on some other past and present fabrications about me that really blew my mind. It's funny how you hear these things from random people and it might takes ages for it to get back to you, which inevitably by the time you hear it, it's already picked up traction. So ya know I thought since this is my blog I can say whatever I want because it's all mine.Guess what. That's exactly what I'm going to do. So let's do this people and get it ALL out there!

Here are a few doosies that threw me for a proverbial loop (- Newest to oldest - ):

Falsity #1: I left my husband and ran away with Vermillion.
Reality Check: LOL Now I love Vermillion, who is a FRIEND and nothing more. We're great dorky buddies that call each other "Dude". If you've ever seen a video of us or seen us on cam you'll know right away that there is nothing sexual between us. Of course I think she's a knockout, but I'm very straight.

Falsity #2: I got WLS (Weight Loss Surgery).
Reality Check: Done and covered in "A Closure at the Rumor Mill"

Falsity #3: That I force my models to show "pink".
Reality Check: I take a lot of offense to this one because it could not be further from the truth! I would never and have never forced ANYONE to do something they didn't want to. If you read my last post then you'll see how I operate, and that is allowing my models to show whatever THEY want . . not me. As a photographer I treat my models with 100% respect and professionalism. When I'm shooting a model I always make sure to let her know that we'll be doing whatever SHE is comfortable with, and I talk through the whole shoot either providing direction or funny little quips. 

Falsity #4: I used to be a hardcore porn star, turned "soft".
Reality Check: Now this one really had me rolling, and I almost came close to peeing my pants. When I first started modeling on the web I had done maybe three "hardcore" videos for my site. Shortly thereafter I realized that it just wasn't for me, so I stopped producing content like that. In the few harder videos I did do they were mainly by myself, but if there was a guy in them with me then that's my husband. 

I think that's about all of the ones I've heard or was told by a reliable source. I hope you found most of them as funny as I have. If you hear something that you think might be a rumor, just ask me! I think more people should have the gonads to go to the source for the truth.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Plump Dolls - Origins

I have the great pleasure of working with all of the gorgeous gals at and this is what inspired me to produce the site!

The idea behind Plump Dolls sprung from a desire to create a place where big girls from plump to "super sized" could display their bodies in whatever way they wanted to. To be able to express their own individual styles, fetishes, desires, turn ons, art, creativity, in a way they would become empowered by. Freedom to be themselves is highly encouraged.

When I first started web modeling I was on a HUGE multi-girl site where BBWs were rare finds. Then I moved to a BBW exclusive multi-girl site for about 5 months before venturing off on my own. has been the result since late 2005. From my time on multi-girl sites I learned a lot about what I didn't like and what I would change if I was ever a webmaster. When it comes to my work as a model I hate to be censored and told I "can't" do or show something. So with the creation of PD I decided to give all of the models accepted into the site free reign on what type of content they provided.

There are no restrictions (aside from illegal stuff) as opposed to other multi BBW sites. All of the models on PD are 200 pounds or more. Why so low for a BBW site? Well because even at 200 pounds most women are considered "fat", "curvy", or "plump" by society's standards. Plus I personally like any girl with womanly curves. The girls on PD can submit softcore/pinup content all the way to full on hardcore . . . anything goes! And THAT my friends is the beauty of Plump Dolls. You never know what you're going to get with the next update. And us girls like to keep you guessing.

So what you'll see when looking around back in the member area is extreme diversity. I absolutely love seeing what all of the ladies come up with!  They inspire me to not only be a better model, but a better webmaster, simply because I was there when I started and not everyone in the industry was so willing to extend a helping hand. There are a LOT of sites out there, with a lot of girls to choose from, but the difference between the Dolls and many other sites is that they are exposing so much more than skin. They're exposing "themselves".

So that's why PD is here. Thanks to all of my girls on PD and to all of my Honorary Dolls who make this site possible and keep on kicking ass!

(Adapted from "The Madam is Here" at the Plump Dolls member forum)

A Closure at the Rumor Mill

**WARNING** If you want to know where I'm at and what my personal opinion on weight loss is, get cozy, it's going to be a looooong post. Some of you may have noticed from chatting with me or from my time on cam that I have lost a little weight. This post is to close down a past rumor and any future ones that pop up because of my diminishing size. This will more than likely be some what controversial but I feel that it's in my best interest to tell you all the truth of the situation and not blow smoke up your collective asses.

Here are the facts, and then we'll go over a few things afterwards.

1. Yes I have lost weight, and yes I am actively losing weight. (I can just about hear the cumulative out cries from FAs and admirers across the globe screaming "NOOOOOOOOO")
2. NO, I did not, have never, and will never go under the knife for weight loss surgery!
3. Yes, one day I'd like to have some offspring, and for the benefit of myself and the future twinkle in my eye I cannot be the size that I am.
4. I am in great health and always have been, but there gets to be a point in most overweight peoples lives where they say, enough.

Now as far as rumors go, I have it on good authority who started the WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) one and I'm sad to say this was most likely started but a "colleague" in my industry. To protect my "source" I can't give out names but it always just plain sucks when someone from your "team" has to stir an already muddled pot. But anyhow I digress. So I guess this all came about a little over two years ago after I dropped from 405 pounds to 355 pounds over about five months. I worked my ever loving ass off for those 50 pounds, and although there are a lot of people who have very real and valid health issues, requiring them to get WLS . .  I am NOT one of them. I took charge of my life because I wasn't happy at that size and I certainly wasn't comfortable. So ya know? I changed things. After losing the 50 pounds I felt so much better about myself not just for looks or health but because I felt more like "me" again.

Well I stopped losing after the initial 50 pounds, went back to eating crappy stuff, and in two years I had gained back 15 of what I had lost. I got to a point where all of that great tasting "crap" got old and tiresome. Cheesecake is GREAT, but it's ideal in moderation. Let's be honest . . if you were in mixed company and asked "Any of you ladies ever eaten a whole cheesecake?" you'd probably get laughed out of the room or there would be many raised eyebrows, right? I've done my own eating videos in the past by request, but they were done as a fetish fulfillment. I've never gone to McDonalds and ordered five double cheeseburgers, three fries, a giant shake, and THEN gone to gag in the bag for more. I've never been a big eater, and you can ask ANYONE who knows me or has had a meal with me to find out that I'm the slowest eater in the world.

Now, I know this is a very controversial subject and I have kept my mouth shut on my personal journey with this but ya know what? I don't really care what anyone but myself thinks about this because it is I that has to live in this body and no one else. I'm just here to set the record straight, take it or leave it. I may lose some fans or members in the process, but that's understandable. I'm not a gainer (never have been), and pretty soon I won't fit into the "SSBBW" category anymore either. But when I started on the web modeling I was much, MUCH lighter than I am now. I think that can be said for a lot of plus sized ladies in this industry. We are encouraged on an almost daily basis to gain and get bigger and "sexier" by our fans. It's a personal choice whether or not you decide to get bigger, and if you do find yourself 100 pounds heavier from when you started doing this it's your choice alone to stay on the same road or turn around and go back.

It's a shame when ever I see a model or former model post on a forum that she's thinking about losing weight or is asking for support only to be shot down from both sides. It's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Because if you gain you're labeled some kind of freak show by society, if you lose and talk about it you must be some kind of hypocrite. So what's a girl to do guys? I can tell you that this girl is going to do what she's always done . . stay true to herself. For the ladies, do what is in YOUR best interest, because this is your life and I'm pretty sure this is the only one we've got to play with so make it the best you can, bigger or smaller.

Remember to always be true to yourself, no matter where it leads you.


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Chivalry isn't just dead . . it's extinct!

I think it's pretty fair to say that most ladies would agree with me on this one. Even though I was born in the 70's and I'm not old enough to remember the days when men were "men" and the women stayed at home tending the house; I'd like to think at some point in history there was a reason men were described as being "chivalrous". I think this ideal has been dwindling fast and furiously as of late.

The pinnacle of this revelation came to me today after watching the "World's Worst" on Countdown with Keith Obermann. When a Mr. Brown of Fort Walton Beach, Florida met his blind date at her car, got in, and held her up at gunpoint demanding all of her money. After relieving her of $90 he walked away as she fled in her car to the police and he proceeded into the Olive Garden where they were meant to spend their date, and he bought HIMSELF dinner. Needless to say, 1. He was arrested and 2. He's obviously never even heard of the word or idea of chivalry.

If you've ever wondered what women really want then listen up boys. Those of us of the female persuasion liked to be "wooed". Unfortunately most men don't think much of this method. In the eternal words of Paul Buchman, "It's exhausting to woo, you woo, you woo, and you woo, and then you've got to go: Whoa!". Understandably you guys don't necessarily want to keep wooing your woman if you've been together for longer than 6-12 months, BUT if you want your lady to get all giddy and excited (which might improve things in the bedroom if they're stale) then all you have to do is this:

1. Bring her the occasional bunch of flowers for no reason. Don't wait for some special date like an anniversary or pity bouquet after an argument. Surprise her!

2. Next time you kiss your woman, throw some sweet sweet romance into it. What does that mean? Well instead of the "peck" or the "I wanna get it on" kiss, try kissing her gently at first, run your hand up the back of her neck running your fingers into her hair while holding her head in your hand. Or the ever popular caressing her face with the back of your hand.

3. Cooking at home or getting take out can get old really quick. If you don't have the funds to take your lady out to a nice dinner then get creative. Make a quick and easy picnic (Go to the store and buy deli sandwiches, salad, chips, and soda for a lunch setting. Or jazz it up for an evening outing with some Brie, water crackers, strawberries, grapes, and a sweet wine like a Gew├╝rztraminer, Muscat, or Riesling. If one of you prefers reds then buy a nice rich Port and 
some chocolate covered bing cherries, blueberries, and apricots, the perfect combination!) and 
take her to the beach, a local park, the pier, the mountains, or someplace special to you both 
(scenic is preferable).

So there are just a few little actions to help keep the "wooing" going. 
Good luck and keep chivalry alive!


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dispelling the myths . . . Horse Dick Guy

I think this post might help some of you guys plagued with the myth that all women want guys with big dicks. It all came together tonight when sitting here in bed I turned to see what the newest episode of the HBO series "Pornacopia" had on tap. When I read that one of the topics was extreme fetishes including sheep it brought me back to a guy I saw on a free cam site earlier today. Thus comes . . . the Horse Dick Guy.

I saw the screen capture of this guy stroking what appeared to be the biggest dick I've ever seen. So of course I had to click through to verify. lol Sure enough there towered before the cam what had to be a world record holder for a human tripod. Judging from his hand placement I'd wager this one eyed monster was roughly 13-14 inches. Now, my first thought was this, "Holy shit that thing is HUGE!!" and my second thought guys?  . . . "OUCH!" Then I just felt sorry for the guy because he had a gigantic horse penis. It was the length of one and the head was smaller than the rest, giving it a very "equestrian" feel.

You see guys, despite what the pornos would have you believe not all woman drool over a giant bulging package. Don't get me wrong, it's a big turn on when I can tell I give a guy a boner but if when he unzips, a fire hose comes reeling out . . I'm calling it a night! Think about it this way, the average aroused vagina stretches up to four inches. So let's say the above average vagina will stretch another two inches (keeping in mind that when unaroused it's length is between 2.5 - 3 inches) so that means Mr. Horse Dick will probably only get less than half of his monster cock into your average woman.

I would imagine that most guys prefer going "balls deep" when getting down and dirty, and most women want orgasms without the fear of impalement. So to all of you guys out there worried that what you're packing isn't "impressive" enough or you're considering buying some male enhancement pills . . . don't. You're more than likely going to satisfy your women beyond her wildest dreams. All you need to know is how she likes to be "sexed up". Good luck and remember size really isn't everything!


Thursday, July 1, 2010

Fakers are hard for me to swallow.

So I was looking around the web tonight and I ran across a former model of mine. To my surprise the once sweet and innocent "girl next door" type did a complete 180 after leaving the scene (having now come back again) and turned into Marilyn Monroe. Now don't get me wrong Marilyn was really hot (although I prefer Norma Jean) but only Marilyn could pull off that look and attitude. There have been many incarnations of her, but in the end they were all just fakers. Well I guess much like Marilyn herself.

You may be asking yourself, "Self, what the hell is Gwen talking about?". I guess what I'm saying is that it makes me shake my head when I see someone, and I know them personally, who completely changes for something or someone. This model I'm talking about seems to have morphed into what she thinks will "sell", but it ultimately just comes off as "fake" and not believable. When I'm on cam, I'm me. What you see is what you get, and if you don't like it go elsewhere. I know what I have to offer and it's well worth the price of admission. I try to bring my personal creativitity to my website, I'm true to my clients and friends, and I enjoy being who I am. I can fake my way through a photoset sure, but I'm playing a character (example: "Malice in Wonderland", "Willy Wonka's Mistress", "Superman's Girlfriend", Fat Miss Muffett", "Desperate Housewife", etc . . ) and it boggles my mind to see girls totally out of their element and not realizing it.

I think I may be tired and ranting as it's 1:15 AM, but this was something on my mind and since I'm blogging now I figured where better to get it out?

Anyhow . . . . I digress.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Here are some of the most frequently asked questions I get:

Q: How old are you?
A: When asked this in my chat room I always love replying with, "How old do you think I am?" because most people don't believe that I'm 33. Maybe it's my Irish heritage that keeps me young looking or maybe it's just that I'm a kid at heart so I don't act very "mature", but it's true I am in my early 30's. I've never lied about my age but I know quite a few models that do, and hey that's their own prerogative. I'm just me and my age is a part of who I am.

Q: Are you single?
A: Nope, I have a great guy who is also my photographer and partner in crime. But just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I can't flirt and fulfill a man's fantasy.

Q: Do you like facesitting?
A: In all honesty I have yet to get a willing victim under my massive cheeks. I have loved doing facesitting simulations in my cam shows and site videos, but I'm anxious to try it with a real boy! It's in the works so keep an eye out.

Q: Are you bisexual?
A: I'd say that I'm more "bi-curious". I'm really picky when it comes to women but I have had a few "experiments" with women in the past. Us women know what we like and to have two women pleasing each other is an amazing experience. There's nothing like kissing a girl with soft full lips! Mmmmm

Q: Are you a gainer?
A: No I'm not into gaining, and never have been. There are women out there that love to gain, but I'm in charge of this body and I do what I see fit for it, gaining not being one of them.

Q: How much do you weigh and what was your heaviest?
A: I currently weigh in at about 360 pounds. My heaviest weight was about two years ago when I tipped the scales at 405 pounds. I actually heard a rumor going around that I had gotten WLS! This really made me laugh. IF I had gotten WLS (which I never would) then I would have lost a lot more weight and it would have all been off two years later. I wasn't comfortable at 405, so I did something about it.

Q: Do men stare at you when you walk down the street?
A: Not that I really notice, but I don't pay that much attention either, especially when I'm alone. When I'm with people though I've been told about guys checking me (or my ass) out as I leave a room. It's always good to have a second pair of eyes to catch the lookers.

Q: Why and how did you start modeling?
A: Back in 2001 my then boyfriend and I took some naughty pictures of me for fun, and I loved it! It made me feel so confident and sexy. Then we ran across the site for Southern Charms and I saw all these women showing off their bodies and the men lapping it up. I thought, "Hey I can totally do this!" . . . so I did. After a few years with SC I was approached by a pinup site and joined them for a very short stint before starting my own solo site. The rest is history!

Q: Will you ever do hardcore?
A: In my SC days I did some hardcore content but since leaving all those years ago I decided to tone it down a bit and go to softcore/pinup content. I prefer getting nasty live, so if you want the harder Gwen you have to come in for a private session, which I think is WAY better!

Q: What models have you worked with?
A: Quite a few! My very first time working with other models was I believe back in 2004/2005 and I got to meet and shoot with Tuscany Blu and Hottie Megan. I had so much fun doing sets with other models and since then I've shot with: Brie Brown, Buffie (BigCuties), Curvy Sharon, BBW Olivia, Sassy (from the UK), Tori DeLuca, Vermillion, Synful Dame, Honey Parker, Medusa Prime. As far as being the photographer I have photographed: Vermillion, Synful Dame, Medusa Prime, Honey Parker, Miss Fortune, BBW Olivia, Salacious Sasha, Riley Ryder, Maxii, Buffie.

Q: Does your ass get stuck in chairs & Have you ever broken something just by sitting on it?
A: Yes, sometimes my ass gets into trouble with chairs that have arms. I don't think most chair makers envisioned someone with hips like mine to be gracing their thrones. I particularly have issues with theater seating, airline seats, and restaurant chairs that have arms. I've actually never broken anything just by sitting on it, I guess my weight gets distributed evenly around my massive butt area. LOL

I suppose it was only a matter of time people.

So I was sitting outside tonight contemplating the world and thinking about how fun it's been doing my awesome job in the adult BBW niche. There are a lot of things I can share with you the audience and even though I'm not much of a writer, I think this might be kind of therapeutic. So here I am, laying in bed with my laptop, naked, at just after 1:00 AM on a Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning. My fat orange tabby boy Kryten is laying next to me, reminding me of the overfed "Puss in Boots" from the newest Shrek.

Anyhow, I guess I had better tell you all a little background on myself in case you don't know who I am or what I do. My name is Gwen Dolan, and many of you might know me as simply "BBWGwen". I have been modeling on the web for the last nine years in the adult BBW niche. I'm a creative pear shaped woman that produces photos and booty shakin' videos for my website:

Aside from my modeling I'm also the webmaster and owner for and which I adore. I work with the hottest, most confident, coolest fat chicks around! When I'm not taking my own clothes off or publishing sets of women who do, I'm behind the camera photographing women taking their clothes off (see, best job ever). I love meeting new confident sexy women that want to show off their womanly curves.

If you can't find me at the computer doing updates, in front of the camera posing for my latest vision, or behind the lens capturing raw sex appeal, you're likely to find me on cam. Since August of 2009 I've been doing webcam shows and private VIP sessions at: All BBW Cams. Let me just say that I have the BEST time doing cam shows! I have met so many great people in my chat room and quite a few interesting characters. I'm typically always giggling or laughing because it's like a friggin' party in there. My private shows are where I get completely naughty and have the pleasure of satisfying my viewers live. I think there's something so sexy about having a live effect on a man. Throwing him a certain look or flick of the hair that you know is slowly driving him crazy in his pants. LOVE it!

So as you can see I'm sort of a "Jill of all Trades". With that I get asked a LOT of questions from all over the board. So following my very first post here on the blog I'll post some F.A.Q. to answer some of those burning questions. If you have a question for me feel free to comment with it, I'm pretty much an open book, but beware . . . I'm also a sarcastic smart ass.

WOO for my first blog!